Think about a time when someone did a really good job for you, or you did something really good for them. Just to expose this memory maybe you feel good – about the person, the good thing that has happened and maybe about anything else.
Jessica Boreli, a professor of psychological science at the University of California, Aryan, Has developed a technique Who focuses on such memories to help people feel more safe in their relationships. Related savings Encourages clients to take a deep dive in these meaningful moments.
Through Several TrialsThis has been shown an effective intervention to strengthen family bonds.
Want the latest stories related to a healthy life science? Subscribe to NPR Health Newsletter.
The idea is based on the work of a psychology professor, Fred Bryant at the University of Chicago, who launched the research field. It has tried for decades to understand how we can accelerate and increase the emotions of positive experiences.
It was a radical concept in psychology when the Brian began its research in the 1980s. Many people were considering competing, which is why we implement negative experiences, but no one was doing the opposite.
“It was assumed that if something good happened, you would be happy. But we all know people who do not know how to enjoy themselves.”
Boreley added that as a human being, human beings are taking the lead in finding the negative aspect of any situation. She says, “Our brains are hard to think about negative.” This is probably due to evolution. We focus on where the smoke is coming from. But that doesn’t have time for us to think about a positive moment. “
Research has attached the savings process Maximum goodness And Less negative mood. This is part of The growing body of evidence Positive positive emotions of your mental health can be important.
Hopefully, you have caught the recent NPR tension low series, which detected many skills – including savings – helps relieve anxiety when practiced for a few minutes a day. (If not, hold it here.)
Completely needed further research Understand these contacts And how to take advantage of them, Bright Note. But in the meantime, there are some ways to tap the power of savings for everyone who loves yourself and you.
1. Increase the expectation
The first person to introduce the brary to save was his mother, who, in childhood, was planning to say “Joey Adventures”. What the Brian learned was that even the only idea of these experiences was enjoyed, and were waiting for them to allow him to take taste.
Just as you can read the travel guidebook before boarding the plane to go to the holiday mode, you can plan forward to spend time with family and friends and be excited for whatever is on the agenda. “With my granddaughter, we make a list of what we are going to do together,” says the Bright. They are the menu of happiness. ” They say they like to leave the space “for the joy of surprise”.
If you have a big family gathering to attend, you can choose to worry about whether your uncle will make a taste of jokes. Or, Boreley says, you can focus on the fact that this is a rare opportunity to collect everyone. “What are the most important things for you to get out of this experience?” She says. Coming to the event with the purpose of creating lasting family memories will put you in the right mindset to be able to do so.
2. Hop on the Time Machine
One of the Bright’s favorite saving techniques is mentally pushing itself in the future. For example, when he spends a afternoon with this 7 -year -old granddaughter, he will imagine that it is 20 years later and she is all big. Then he tells himself that he now has the opportunity to go back to that moment, and that is even more meaningful than what already had a special experience.
“I’m approaching it as it is the fact that is now over,” he says. “When you see it as a second opportunity, you get more taste.”
Even a very pleasant experience, such as dealing with toddler Titerum, may change when you see it as an explosion from the past. “It’s faster,” the Bright, says, it will not last. “
Want to learn better ways to handle stress? Sign up for NPR tension less newsletter And get a five -week newsletter in five weeks.
3. Use all your senses
“When I listen to a piece of music, I close my eyes to focus on it,” says the Bright. “I will do that I am in a gathering with my family. I arrive on the event and listen to the combination of voices, at this moment there is a joy of joy.”
Catching every detail – how things look, sound, smell, taste and feel – memories make it easier to remember later and to live this positive experience. “The first step to be able to taste something is to be compatible with what is happening,” says Boreley. That is why relative savings intervene asks customers to set up a memory when they talk to a memory. She says, “This is everything that can be remembered by them, like a camera,” she says.
Also recommend taking pictures, which you can share with others and convert to lambs.
4. Remember to look backwards
The key to saving is that efforts are needed, the Brightt says. He explained, “You have to make time for it. Bad things force us to deal with them. We have very little choice about competing.” But we have to decide to Taste and Do Taste
When Boreley is helping customers find memories of discovering, they often come to a moment that didn’t seem so important at the time. For example, a child falls into the playground and parents run away to hold them, offer relief and clean tears. She says, “As a parent, you do not have to pay a pause and that’s not a special thing.”
But it can be an invaluable gift that helps children feel safer. Her parents have considered what this experience means now and in the future, and if it brings any idea about this relationship or in her life. “This is the place where magic is,” says Boreley.
And, hopefully, it helps them to take more memories of their taste on the road.
Wiki Halt Is an independent author who regularly contributes to the NPR.
