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I am sitting with Grandpa Fathers with a rope on their wrists and forced me to tell me that everything is misunderstood. I have investigated the cases where the black -eyed parents refused to talk to me. I have tried to help the young men who have been sexually transmitted.
For eight years, I have investigated abuse against the elderly and the disabled as part of the Texas Department of Family and Security Services as part of adult security services, which is part of the department’s most famous child safety services. And, like those who try to help children abuse children, I saw that humanity had to present to other adults.
I know the figures from heart. It takes on average, Seven interferences Before an abuser leaves a relationship. More than 3 in 3 women and 4 in 4 According to the national domestic violence hotline, an intimate partner in his life will face some kind of violence.
However, according to Dr. Gray Anders, an associate professor of social work at Missouri Western State University, these figures cannot be reported for men. C. of New HouseDomestic violence shelter in Kansas City, Missouri.
Anders told me, “Often male abuse reports have been diminished, so the data are not accurate.” “Shame.”
I talked to Anders to find out what is wrong with talking to men and boys and how to help them.
The conversation describes the edit and the condenses.
CNN: Why are many men and boys often silent when they are abused?
Dr. Gray Anders: Many of this are in the ways of raising boys. Boys’ IT, it’s all about “rubbing it”. “You’ll be fine.” “Stand.” “Shake it.” This is some of it. The second part is to do with the shame that men put on themselves when they recognize that they are physically or sexually abused.
It has to do with it how we explain what we mean to be a human being. If you are being abused, you have hindered seeking help if you think you are wrong or wrong because you are abused.
CNN: This is not the only one who imposes men and boys on themselves. What obstacles do they face when services are obtained?
Anders: The majority of domestic violence shelters only accept women. It is broken among professionals that we believe that domestic violence is an intimate partner with a woman or a woman with another woman with another woman, when men are also victims of domestic violence.
Domestic violence is not just violence against partners. This includes abuse with children. This includes collective violence. This includes bullying. It also includes family sexual assault. This includes the elderly abuse. All violence is attached.
But often many of our services work in the cellus, so we create our obstacles in our system.
CNN: What happens when men cannot get help?
Anders: If you face domestic violence in childhood, you are more likely to be more likely to be exposed to domestic violence as an adult.
Unfortunately, what happens often is that we will follow the trauma we have experienced. This violence goes through the family system to the family system, from generation to generation.
You are rational that violence is okay to solve problems and it continues till youth. Sometimes it means that you hurt yourself, and the second time means that painful people don’t see red flags in others
CNN: Are you guys to break the bicycle I am too late?
Anders: Before that trauma is so difficult to fix. In the first year of life, a development milestone is confidence vaccinated. As confidence develops, it determines the future development of sympathy, conscience, cause and effect thinking, self-esteem and ability to connect-these are all components of flexibility.
But the human condition is designed to fix. This is not what is wrong with you. It has happened to you.
Understanding that changing Changes changes to break your cycle is to make changes to your thinking way. Acknowledge that violence is not a solution. Although you experienced that in childhood, you should make decisions to live in different ways and surround yourself with healthy people.
CNN: We listen to the risky women who need safety projects. How do men make a protective plan?
Anders: There are two types of safety projects. One for emotional management, and the other for physical protection.
When you are depressed or upset, take a moment and rub your temples, get some fresh air and maybe listen to some music. Then talk to someone to help you handle your emotions.
Then there is a physical safety plan, a series of a series that I will do to ensure my safety and the safety of my children. I’m going to get information about my financial affairs, my passport, my driver’s license and health insurance information. I will have clothes stored in a friend’s house, so if I need to leave, I can swallow with him and take the bag and then go to safety.
CNN: How can men access resources or even find out where they are?
Anders: A hotline in every major city, in addition National domestic violence hotline (800-799-SAFE) and Suicide and crisis lifeline (988) All these are going to connect you to the right place. Blessed, you can be in a city where there are less shelters or physical resources for men.
But even if you call a shelter for domestic violence and you are a man, they should refer you to the next best resources. Also, on each person’s health card, there will be a mental health phone number. They will also have the resources to point to you in the right direction. If you are experienced, you can call Veterans Crisis Line (Press 988, 1).
You can also contact your state Adult safety services Department for victims or disabled people over 65 years old.
CNN: What should you do if you have children?
Anders: Many abuses will use children as their victims. The abusers will also do so with pets.
At this time, contact children’s services, sheriffs or legal authorities. Child safety services should have the ability to help, even if you are separated from you.
The agency for which I work, accepts the New House, men, women, their children and pets. We either accept them in our residents or in our residents, outdoor patients, case management, therapy and legal advocacy. We are trying to disperse the barriers that are in places that prevent people from getting their services.
Shannon Carpenter is a writer, the author of the book “Father in the last stay“And married the father of the three.
